He Say She Say

Not having a father for the past 8 years of my life has probably has probably been the single greatest thing that has effected who I am today. They say you can't miss something you never have, which I think is BS, because there are certain things that just feel like they should be there but they aren't, which can be compared to missing something I think anyways, but what do they say about missing something that was actually there? My pops was the person I looked up to in life the most. He was my father, hero, and best friend. Once he voluntarily stepped out of my life, my entire world and perception of everything shattered. Still to this day it feels like I am struggling to pick up the pieces. But I know, deep in the deepest depths of my heart that no matter how hard I try, things won't be the same as they were before. Nor is it my responsibility to make things the way they were but part of me would give anything to get things back to they way they used to be....

But when I step back and look at my situation as a whole, there are parts of me that have formed directly because of my situation. I've always called the moment my pops walked out of my life, the "Birth of my Conscious Mind." Everything before then seemed to happen without much thought on my part. I did things, things happened, and I just really went with the flow, ya know? And when my mind finally became awake, it felt like I was 12 years behind everything. So having to catchup at an accelerated rate, not to mention still live in present has been a little tough on my part. But the one thing I can say I'm enjoying, is how my mind is developing. The things I think about on a constant basis....the way I see the world working....the potentials we as humans can achieve is endless in my opinion...but for me to show the world my mind, I can't be a peon in the grander scheme of things!


So for the future I say I'm willing to put my life on the line to eradicate all mishaps of the past. Even though the past made me today, it doesn't have to be someone else's past...or future...and to my future sons and daughters, you will NEVER be left alone!