To those that made it

To Those That Made It,

How did you get your drive to work hard? It takes no college degree to realize that a good work ethic will get you far. That plus some motivation or a passion for life will get you where you need to be, or want to be. But where did that come from? I feel like I have a vision for the future, but my drive and motivation to see that vision become a reality needs to catch up with today. I'm getting better but I still have far to go. Eventually I feel I will make this a habit, but when will I turn the corner and just stay focused on my goals and aspirations?

So to those that made it, I ask again. How did you get your drive...

Love Confessions

I never knew love was real...until we started talking
Innocent laughs and hugs on your end
But on the other side of the bridge my heart was conflicted
I restricted myself from ever expressing my true feelings
The smile....he...brought to your face...
The idea of an endless chase without me ever keeping pace to tell you that I Loved you.

We never kissed. We never held hands
I was never your Man, but once we started talking my heart stopped belonging to me
You never knew it, but you held my lifeforce in your precious hands everyday you smiled at me
And everytime I saw you....with him....I saw the heart you chose to publicly hold onto

Everyday after class I would walk you to yours...and the torture would begin
I'd stare at you and see everything beautiful about the world
Only to know when you looked at me you only saw a friend
As crazy as it sounds, I'd rather go through the torment of talking to you
Making you smile and laugh, but knowing I couldn't hold your hands...

Separation

Away from my heart my mind tends to stay apart
Reoccurring foolish decisions rationality is off
When you start love, reality starts changing
Your brain loses control while your heart becomes bold
Making decisions on instincts that’s derived from your soul
A connection warm enough to let you survive through the cold
I guess its understandable why people make the same mistakes time after time
The mind becoming blind, can’t see between the lines, or decipher all the signs
That’s leading you down path full of depression and wrath
While I’m confessing on slabs
My heart’s progression just lags
Trying fly high and spread my wings just like the eagles
Doubt is unnecessary while fear branded in evil…

Inspiration for all college students!

This is the backbone of my motivation right now. I hope it helps you out as well!

Friday Thoughts: The Cycle of life?

I’ve noticed there’s an cycle about romance. The first part starts with females. They whine and complain about no good dudes, about niggas who are dogs, etc etc. They are steady on the rise looking for “good dudes” but can never find them. Any of this sound familiar?

The cycle continues with good dudes. But these dudes are apparently hard to find, so the myth goes anyways. Most of us don’t have much experience with romance or whatever you want to call it so approaching females is uncharted territory, plus females don’t give us the time of day anyways so we go unnoticed.

And there we have the cycle. Females who want good dudes but don’t see the ones in front of them, and good dudes (like me!) who don’t get the time of day but don’t make a point to get noticed. THIS is why relationships seem like they are for the birds….WHERE does the cycle end? Is it OUR job to do all the things necessary to come at a female correct, or is it their job to open their eyes for once?

Black Philosophy

In my solitude and sovereignty, I question if Africa had its own Socrates
Imagine Black Philosophy.
African figures, the constellations take shake up of
So as we gaze upon the stars, we see Black astrology
I ponder these ifs, then beam back to reality
The concept of Black being great is treated as a fallacy
Black Philosophy: Survive or you die
To move through life we have to learn how to fly,
Especially over surfaces where our counterparts simply walk
They get their portraits painted while our bodies are outlined chalk, displayed on urban sidewalks
Black Philosophy: Escape all Hypocrisy
Jay-Z and Kanye accused of illuminati
Name one white artist with accusations high as that!
More racism in disguise to dehumanize rap?
Vick did a wrong, much to his chagrin
Does anybody care if Roethlisberger was really getting in?
Black Philosophy: Stand Through All Atrocities
Slavery and Oppression, Racism with Aggression
Being Black means being strong, not a curse but a Blessing
We’ve risen through it all, takes notes and learn the lesson

-Results of Public Education

My generation and sex

So I'm on Tumblr, just browsing around looking at dope stuff, and every now and then I come across something related to sex...either a picture of people having sex, or just something sex related...(I don't know if it's important but it's from all females too). I don't know what it is about our generation, but it seems we are COMPLETELY desensitized towards sex...like its not even a big deal to people...

I was at the barbershop like 4 weeks ago and they were having a conversation on sex....mostly dudes braggin' tellin' stories about who they did and what not....most of the dudes talkin had to be 17 and under....(Don't know if that's still MY generation but for the purposes of this note I'll include them in it!) Like these dudes was talkin' bout it like once you hit 14-15, you NEED to start havin sex....no being scared of yo first time, no savin' it for marriage, no risks of being a daddy, etc.

It's like havin sex at an early age is almost synonymous with playin basketball. The conversations are casual. I understand young people are always going to be "curious" (wack ass term to describe it) and engage in things you don't want them to do, but damn! Is that it's goin' down? ESPECIALLY since sex is more accessible to people now due to technology...I mean you can have sex with a person, watch it on tv, look up pictures and videos on the internet, magazines, send pictures thru the phone, "Sexting" (whatever the hell that is), etc. ALL accessible fairly easy....

Now maybe it's just me being lame or whatever you wanna call it, but I think there's a difference between 19-22 yr old's having sex, versus 14-16 yr. olds...(I'm not exception to either age differences btw) Even so, I hear people downtalkin' my generation like we are screw-ups and what not, and they are EXPOSING us to stuff they DON'T want us to do, and then get MAD because we don't see the importance in it...

I'm just sayin...

Results of Public Education-Numbers

My present state of mind is defined by a dime,
who didn't have enough sense to be full dolla,
always settlin' for less when dude's tried to holla.
That's similar to mine, I reflect in a rhyme,
I would sell myself short, competitive intellect abused by time,
Dodgin' the Voodoo man's knives. My lives still remain at nine...
The 8th wonder of the world,
A girl fulfillin' bodily needs with ease, Redemption for me to try and breathe,
The narrow path of the heavens, is marked with halos and sevens,
No package for the devil in the severance,
Independent from hell, I shake off my outer shell,
Dust off the devil's prints, if the college life should ever fail
Then I'll take my talents to South Beach and rock a number 6.
Five fingers in the air, the world is still mine but allow me share part of my mind.
The 4th part of the saga, A New Hope for those that are down ropes,
To the Motherland we rockin', back to the West Coast,
Disadvantaged at birth, we started our voyage with holes in our boats,
The pain still to burn in the third, Too hot to quell the all flames with words
So I put two fingers for world peace, If the beast still plagues the streets,
Then I'll take out my weapon from it's sheath,
No sword or gun just pen and a mission at hand
Just tryin' to be real and number one.

Exhibit A Inspired

I be the flyest thing to hit the Riv scene since Reggie Miller
From the creation of Adam and Eve until now, every other rapper’s work should just be considered fillers
I pray for those who ponder if they’ll see breakfast and dinner
Where lunch is luxury, and their life will succumb to Be
Imagine, a world where starvation never happened
Or maybe a world where MARS never started rappin’
Or where niggas never picked up a gun, got a colored flag, and started jackin’
Hoods with no action,
Just satisfaction in equal living
Where no wrong goes unforgiven
Or better yet, unforgotten
Cause while one faction’s member lies in the street with his body decomposed and rottin’
His comrades sit about the round table plottin
Jottin’ down every idea to put their rivals six feet under ground
All for survival, and a chance at the crown
Chasin’ money, so you and your crew will never go hungry
Its funny how we went from rhyming rhymes about the gingerbread man
To talking bout the fate and the plight of the black Man
America’s latest targets be Mexicans and Afghans
Negative propaganda for oil-filled lands
Iraq and Iran,
We didn’t know nothing about em’ till America decided to try fill its pockets
Imperialism still exist but the fact is they can’t stop it…

Untitled

What happen to love being personal?
Uniquely expressed,
While conceptually universal
The fears of pain make us deflect rather than accept
The tears of rain weigh too much for our cheeks to bare the stress
But to those who use Love in vain,
I’m ashamed and Appalled.
For while they let something so scarce and rare,
So Downtrodden, yet Fair,
So Powerful, yet Exhausting,
So Crippling yet Releasing,
So Intense that even at the most suspenseful moments,
In which our hearts pound,
And pound,
And Pound,
And POUND,
The moments after, are yet Simple…
Filled with smiling lips and blinking eyes
Followed by small chuckles that burst into trumpets of laughter
From Pain to Joy
From Soft Banter to Quarrels
Us Have-nots of Love keep faith Alive
For the hope of becoming a Have, tends to Enthrall

Never say never

I never thought I’d let myself be so vulnerable
I never thought I’d meet someone so sweet
I never thought my smile would be this big
When I saw you in my passenger seat

You said you’d never fell so hard before
I said I’d never had anyone to catch
We both never thought that your body in my arms
Would turn out to be a perfect match

But you said you’d never leave
And I said I’d never let you go
We said we’d grow old together
And watch all the trees grow

And now, I’d never thought I’d be riding alone
All because of what you read in my phone
I’m suppose to thank God, just for waking up
But without you, everything still wouldn’t seem like enough
I’d never thought I’d miss you so much…

Life on Hold

Feeling like my life is on hold
Trying pursue happiness ain’t got enough gold
The pressures of social ills got me wanting to fold
Do I remain the same me? And where’s the happiness to show?
I walk the tightrope and if I fall down below
I’ll descend into misery and all its best friends
The company of Pain, puts a toll on my brain
Been searching for the community of Joy since I was boy
But as I’m falling down I see despair running the town
So with a pounds Sound I’m trying to stay off the ground
Hope is thin in the air so it’s hard me to breathe.
As if there wasn’t enough barricades in the way of me trying to make the ends meet
It’s just roadblock after roadblock
We often run away from the heat like the stove’s top is getting hot
I may be a rookie, but I’m here to dominate the League
The motto’s still the same, My Audio Reigns Supreme

~M.A.R.S.~

Love Affairs: Burning Questions

My phone calls are never returned
A lesson never learned
I constantly play the love game only to get burned
The third degree unleashed upon me and my character
Why do I always get compared to her past love lames?
With all the truth I speak she only still sees the past lies she was told
Forcing me to decide whether or not to play my heart ,or to fold
Am I that bold?
Her heart’s temperature reads near zero and below
Who am I to have a fire burning hot enough to warm it back normal?
Before I answer I have to ask, how
How could someone turn to a path of no hope?
A path with no light?
Even then, how are they supposed to return?
And if she is, am I the one suppose to get her heart to burn?
How am I suppose to break down a wall of hate with love?
Where’s my secret agenda behind all the compliments and hugs?
Because as of now, I’m associated with all of her previous heart-schemers
She says I don’t have a chance, but my affection for still lingers
So I guess It’s just Her hardened heart
Versus my mission to make it soft
To make it tender
To give her mind good times to remember
Maybe tears from laughter
To give Her hand to hold during disasters
And to always be there the morning after
If she were a book, I’d only ask for a chapter

Reflection

I was really caught in awe tonight. I know how beautiful women can be, but it still amazes me when I see them face to face sometimes. I mean, I saw some really gorgeous looking ladies tonight and it was dope! No crazy sexual kind of thoughts went into my mind, I was just really appreciating the beauty in the room.

Frustration growing with music..

Music is the one thing in my life that I HAVE to have that really isn't classified as being a "necessity." I mean, you need food, water, shelter, etc. Music for is becoming a BIG need in my life. It's probably going to end up being just as important as the blood in my veins. It is the MY lifeforce which keeps me going daily....

So I'm currently browsing twitter, when I see someone mentioned something about Rapper Big Pooh's Sleepers...Here I'm thinking this is some new music that I get to experience...when in reality, Sleepers was released over5 years ago...WHY is it that the dopest shit around always gets to me YEARS after the fact...The only upside to this is that I KNOW I have a museum of music that I have yet to scratch....but I'm becoming frustrated that the dope shit is overlooked over this bullshit I hear daily.....

End Rant,


M.A.R.S.

Fuck the Radio....

I think some people have the wrong idea about Hip hop....for one, this isn't just music. People don't realize this is a culture...I mean, the way we walk, the language we walk, the way we dance, the way we wear our clothes, the visual art, all that jazz. So when I see MUSIC artists having to compromise their style in records just so their shit will sell, it makes NO sense to me....I mean if you are SELLING to HIP-HOP heads, you shouldn't have to make "mainstream" music, since hip hop isn't meant to coincide with "mainstream" society. WE ARE OUR OWN SOCIETY. If someone outside the society wants to give a listen, that's cool, but don't focus your shit on selling to them, WE are the ones giving you fame and recognition and supporting you, to an extent anways, since niggas don't go around buying albums these days, but that's another topic for another day.

I mean for anyone who STILL listens to the radio, every time I turn to stations like Power 106 I go, "WHAT THE FUCK?!!?" It's usually some pop-sounding record which is sometimes followed by a techno-blend of some bullshit, not to diss anyone that listens to techno, but Power 106 claims the notion of "Where Hip-Hop lives..." Seems to me Hip-hop was evicted from the radio station awhile ago, but they still keep its name on the residence list...I mean if you honestly have skills, with a classic-sounding beat, you CAN'T be played on the radio in heavy rotations for whatever reason. It makes NO sense....The only hip-hop artists to make the radio are BIG names like Drake, Wayne, Eminem, Kanye West, etc. And the only type of songs to make the radio are the "pop" songs within the Hip-Hop genre. Like take Ludacris for example. His Theater of the Mind album was DOPE. Songs like One More Drink and What Them Girls Like are club songs which got a lot of spins....cool...Has ANYONE ever thought if MVP or Do The Right Thang could've too? Because if I remember correctly, I Do It For Hip Hop only got spins...Only because Nas and Jay-z were on the track...you can argue if you want, but that's just the reality. There's NO way Ludacris could've spit three verses on his own with that beat and take it to a station (outside of Atlanta anyways)

I guess this rant is due to me going through my Itunes library and going through different albums listening to songs and trying to remember which ones, if any, got any spins (that means radio play if you haven't caught on). Now, EVERY song doesn't have to be super lyrical or whatever. But I think the real problem is that you can't be REAL on a song and expect it to sell....Which is weird because if you go around asking people some of their favorite songs, they ARE the "real" ones, the ones that touch your soul when you listen. Or maybe that's the circle of people I tend to kick it with. Once again, ain't nothing wrong with Pop songs, but that's all I hear on the radio. I mean be real, when's the LAST time you heard a REAL R&B song? Nothing too upbeat, just someone pouring out their soul on a track, and have it make the radio? (I'll wait).......

This may sound like an attack on radio stations (because it really is), but really it's really just something that's been bugging me for a couple of years now. I honestly can't remember the last time I WANTED to turn the radio on to listen what's in rotation. If I ever do nowadays, it's either by accident or I have no CDs in my car that I haven't gone through 100 times already...So to all artists out there, make the music YOU want to and Fuck (sorry for such harsh language) being compromised for the sake of selling. Because if it's dope, we are going to buy it anyways!



M.A.R.S.

New Dream

I can’t tell you why we have dreams…I mean it seems as if they have absolutely no bearing on what happens in this physical world we live in. But I know the dreams I have, or now I should say had, of you mean something. You were just a dream that got away….It took me years to accept failure, and move on. But then you began showing up without warning, reminding me of something I was trying to forget…somehow I broke out of having to see you when I went to sleep. And for awhile, when I would close my eyes, I would dream of nothing. It may not sound exciting to sleep through the entire night without your mind taking you on some kind of adventure, but there wasn’t a tease of happiness when I closed my eyes, to only open them to a harsh reality where happiness is almost a fallacy. Because dealing with those moments of realizing that what I believed to be real was “only a dream” was torture for me. So for months my mind was free of dreams. Free of disappointment. Free of that reminder of where I failed in life. Free from you. ..But now…I am beginning to dream again. Only this time, you are now gone and she is now you. So to something that could’ve been, and probably should’ve been, I say goodbye. And to the prospect of something wonderful, I say hello. Hopefully these new dreams that I am having will manifest themselves into something beautiful in this physical world…………..Guess I need to buy myself a dreamcatcher….

Life...

Basically just had one of the realest talks with the homie Corey...There's basically no reason why we can't do anything we really want to do...."If a nigga is sitting there complaining about his situation...it's his fault." NO EXCUSES. I'm honestly starting to believe us as humans have the will to get through whatever we need to get through. And it's not because pain makes us stronger or any other cliche we can think of...it's basically we HAVE to get through whatever we are going through. Whatever goals you got in mind, or whatever it is you feel like you wanna achieve, you NEED to put in some SERIOUS work. YOU need to get on YOUR grind to get it done! NO BULLSHITTING! For every person that has "made it" in life, I believe they all experienced a similar scenario. They ALL got to a point where they simply said, "FUCK THIS" and got on their grind until the world moved out of their way and let them be. We are all destined for greatness, but few of us ever achieve it.....I gotta make it even if it kills me...

So I overhead a song off of this tape from my homegirl. Didn't know what it was so I had her school me on Blu and his music. The song sounded dope so I figured I would do my research. Looked for it on Itunes and it wasn't there, so I ended up downloading it. (I promise I will find a way to pay for it if it IS for sale somewhere) But I'm barely half way through this tape right now, and I must say this is the most refreshing piece of music I've heard since Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor...I put that on my moms when I say that. It honestly feels like I am listening to music made in the 90s....Not only is this probably the most soulful, lyrically moving, inspiring piece of work I've heard in awhile, HE'S FROM THE WEST COAST!! I support REAL music! This is simply too dope....

M.A.R.S.

Bird Uncaged (Unfinished)

My bird is uncaged,

Its majestic wings flap vibrantly in the skies

And yet, despite its struggles to separate itself from the flock

It is still unseen by your eyes.

What else must it do to catch the attention of the ones it longs for?

Love Affairs: Cupid Stabs

A hug from you always made me feel complete

How could I ever deny such a smile so sweet?

That day you left me standing alone, the water ran deep

Down my cheek, until they turned into pools of sorrow

Now I’m a one man army without a shoulder to borrow

But I’ll shoulder the burden of what let us to break up

A vivid memory of tears, brusing and smearing your make-up

A chilly gust of wind, puts an end to something real

So cold, the feeling of solitude without you

An unbreakable bond? Between us, it was never strong

I still remember the red dress you wore when we shared our last meal

Rain drops pound a head of waves, while lightning flashes behind streaks of blonde

For our souls to be free, they had to escape one another

But even in freedom, we are bonded as first lovers.

Love Affairs: Mí Ladrona, Mí Amor

Mí Ladrona, Mí Amor,
Our first class together was back in cold weather,
I still remember the first time you walked by, and said “Hi”
I stuttered in my reply, I was Mesmerized
By a smile so pure, so warm, and so sweet
I spent the entire semester of class, goin' over my plans
My scheme was to just sweep you off your feet
And I’d catch you in my arms while singin’ a love song,
But alas,
These feelings for you, you never knew I had
Looking back at it now just makes my mind crash
Cause it was a real chance, I had in my hands,
Whether it was making you laugh, or that one movie night with your fam
All I ever wanted to do was show you the card in my hand,
But all you managed to do was steal my heart and dash
And even in the aftermath of our friendship, the feelings have yet to past
So slick in your routine, something precious of mine you managed to nab
I have this reoccurring dream of you in every scene
An ironic result of asking God to purge from all my memories
I guess for to get my deck straight, and get my cards to stack
I gotta get my heart back

Mí Ladrona, Mí Amor

Love Affairs: Childhood Love

Childhood love,

The time that we spent was never really enough,

I remember when we was young we use to play Hide and Seek

And you would hide near the brush behind the bushes near the shrubs,

I would always give chase, tagging you with a tacklehugs

I never crossed my mind why I constantly saved you for last

I guess the joy of us, rolling around in the grass

Was worth having to hear my mom’s tell me “Get yo ass in the bath!”

Looking back now, I understand why our parents shared laughs,

The understood that us playing together,

Day after day, was suppose to lead to something better

Perhaps maybe even forever,

But when I had to chance to claim your hand, and hold it in mine

I denied you to your face and said you wasn’t mine

But how could you blame me? I was only a couple of years past five

If only I understood then what made you run and cry

But I was confused you see,

Love was something different and was still new to me

So when I left for a different city and thought about all the times I would miss,

The one memory I will forever cherish, is the one when we shared first shared lips.

Fallout New Vegas: Ranger Combat Armor

So I've been trying to get this armor without having to take down an NCR squad or lose fame with the NCR at the same time. Today I snuck up on a ranger and killed him with the "Oh baby" weapon in one hit. Silent kill. No hostile alerts, no fame loss, etc. Don't know if it was a glitch or if this works everytime, but it worked for me!

2011 outlook

2010 was an eye opener for me. Among the valuable things I learned, the one lesson that has stuck to me the most, is the fact that if the world is going to change for the better, someone is going to have to stick their neck out their in order to make a difference. We simply cannot be afraid to change for the better, or be afraid of the unknown period. I had one of the illest professors I think God ever created this past semester. A quote she read to us goes:

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen; there will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught how to fly

I guess if I'm going to evolve and mature as a person to finally become Real, I need to learn how to fly.


M.A.R.S.