Love Affairs: Burning Questions

My phone calls are never returned
A lesson never learned
I constantly play the love game only to get burned
The third degree unleashed upon me and my character
Why do I always get compared to her past love lames?
With all the truth I speak she only still sees the past lies she was told
Forcing me to decide whether or not to play my heart ,or to fold
Am I that bold?
Her heart’s temperature reads near zero and below
Who am I to have a fire burning hot enough to warm it back normal?
Before I answer I have to ask, how
How could someone turn to a path of no hope?
A path with no light?
Even then, how are they supposed to return?
And if she is, am I the one suppose to get her heart to burn?
How am I suppose to break down a wall of hate with love?
Where’s my secret agenda behind all the compliments and hugs?
Because as of now, I’m associated with all of her previous heart-schemers
She says I don’t have a chance, but my affection for still lingers
So I guess It’s just Her hardened heart
Versus my mission to make it soft
To make it tender
To give her mind good times to remember
Maybe tears from laughter
To give Her hand to hold during disasters
And to always be there the morning after
If she were a book, I’d only ask for a chapter

Reflection

I was really caught in awe tonight. I know how beautiful women can be, but it still amazes me when I see them face to face sometimes. I mean, I saw some really gorgeous looking ladies tonight and it was dope! No crazy sexual kind of thoughts went into my mind, I was just really appreciating the beauty in the room.

Frustration growing with music..

Music is the one thing in my life that I HAVE to have that really isn't classified as being a "necessity." I mean, you need food, water, shelter, etc. Music for is becoming a BIG need in my life. It's probably going to end up being just as important as the blood in my veins. It is the MY lifeforce which keeps me going daily....

So I'm currently browsing twitter, when I see someone mentioned something about Rapper Big Pooh's Sleepers...Here I'm thinking this is some new music that I get to experience...when in reality, Sleepers was released over5 years ago...WHY is it that the dopest shit around always gets to me YEARS after the fact...The only upside to this is that I KNOW I have a museum of music that I have yet to scratch....but I'm becoming frustrated that the dope shit is overlooked over this bullshit I hear daily.....

End Rant,


M.A.R.S.

Fuck the Radio....

I think some people have the wrong idea about Hip hop....for one, this isn't just music. People don't realize this is a culture...I mean, the way we walk, the language we walk, the way we dance, the way we wear our clothes, the visual art, all that jazz. So when I see MUSIC artists having to compromise their style in records just so their shit will sell, it makes NO sense to me....I mean if you are SELLING to HIP-HOP heads, you shouldn't have to make "mainstream" music, since hip hop isn't meant to coincide with "mainstream" society. WE ARE OUR OWN SOCIETY. If someone outside the society wants to give a listen, that's cool, but don't focus your shit on selling to them, WE are the ones giving you fame and recognition and supporting you, to an extent anways, since niggas don't go around buying albums these days, but that's another topic for another day.

I mean for anyone who STILL listens to the radio, every time I turn to stations like Power 106 I go, "WHAT THE FUCK?!!?" It's usually some pop-sounding record which is sometimes followed by a techno-blend of some bullshit, not to diss anyone that listens to techno, but Power 106 claims the notion of "Where Hip-Hop lives..." Seems to me Hip-hop was evicted from the radio station awhile ago, but they still keep its name on the residence list...I mean if you honestly have skills, with a classic-sounding beat, you CAN'T be played on the radio in heavy rotations for whatever reason. It makes NO sense....The only hip-hop artists to make the radio are BIG names like Drake, Wayne, Eminem, Kanye West, etc. And the only type of songs to make the radio are the "pop" songs within the Hip-Hop genre. Like take Ludacris for example. His Theater of the Mind album was DOPE. Songs like One More Drink and What Them Girls Like are club songs which got a lot of spins....cool...Has ANYONE ever thought if MVP or Do The Right Thang could've too? Because if I remember correctly, I Do It For Hip Hop only got spins...Only because Nas and Jay-z were on the track...you can argue if you want, but that's just the reality. There's NO way Ludacris could've spit three verses on his own with that beat and take it to a station (outside of Atlanta anyways)

I guess this rant is due to me going through my Itunes library and going through different albums listening to songs and trying to remember which ones, if any, got any spins (that means radio play if you haven't caught on). Now, EVERY song doesn't have to be super lyrical or whatever. But I think the real problem is that you can't be REAL on a song and expect it to sell....Which is weird because if you go around asking people some of their favorite songs, they ARE the "real" ones, the ones that touch your soul when you listen. Or maybe that's the circle of people I tend to kick it with. Once again, ain't nothing wrong with Pop songs, but that's all I hear on the radio. I mean be real, when's the LAST time you heard a REAL R&B song? Nothing too upbeat, just someone pouring out their soul on a track, and have it make the radio? (I'll wait).......

This may sound like an attack on radio stations (because it really is), but really it's really just something that's been bugging me for a couple of years now. I honestly can't remember the last time I WANTED to turn the radio on to listen what's in rotation. If I ever do nowadays, it's either by accident or I have no CDs in my car that I haven't gone through 100 times already...So to all artists out there, make the music YOU want to and Fuck (sorry for such harsh language) being compromised for the sake of selling. Because if it's dope, we are going to buy it anyways!



M.A.R.S.

New Dream

I can’t tell you why we have dreams…I mean it seems as if they have absolutely no bearing on what happens in this physical world we live in. But I know the dreams I have, or now I should say had, of you mean something. You were just a dream that got away….It took me years to accept failure, and move on. But then you began showing up without warning, reminding me of something I was trying to forget…somehow I broke out of having to see you when I went to sleep. And for awhile, when I would close my eyes, I would dream of nothing. It may not sound exciting to sleep through the entire night without your mind taking you on some kind of adventure, but there wasn’t a tease of happiness when I closed my eyes, to only open them to a harsh reality where happiness is almost a fallacy. Because dealing with those moments of realizing that what I believed to be real was “only a dream” was torture for me. So for months my mind was free of dreams. Free of disappointment. Free of that reminder of where I failed in life. Free from you. ..But now…I am beginning to dream again. Only this time, you are now gone and she is now you. So to something that could’ve been, and probably should’ve been, I say goodbye. And to the prospect of something wonderful, I say hello. Hopefully these new dreams that I am having will manifest themselves into something beautiful in this physical world…………..Guess I need to buy myself a dreamcatcher….

Life...

Basically just had one of the realest talks with the homie Corey...There's basically no reason why we can't do anything we really want to do...."If a nigga is sitting there complaining about his situation...it's his fault." NO EXCUSES. I'm honestly starting to believe us as humans have the will to get through whatever we need to get through. And it's not because pain makes us stronger or any other cliche we can think of...it's basically we HAVE to get through whatever we are going through. Whatever goals you got in mind, or whatever it is you feel like you wanna achieve, you NEED to put in some SERIOUS work. YOU need to get on YOUR grind to get it done! NO BULLSHITTING! For every person that has "made it" in life, I believe they all experienced a similar scenario. They ALL got to a point where they simply said, "FUCK THIS" and got on their grind until the world moved out of their way and let them be. We are all destined for greatness, but few of us ever achieve it.....I gotta make it even if it kills me...

So I overhead a song off of this tape from my homegirl. Didn't know what it was so I had her school me on Blu and his music. The song sounded dope so I figured I would do my research. Looked for it on Itunes and it wasn't there, so I ended up downloading it. (I promise I will find a way to pay for it if it IS for sale somewhere) But I'm barely half way through this tape right now, and I must say this is the most refreshing piece of music I've heard since Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor...I put that on my moms when I say that. It honestly feels like I am listening to music made in the 90s....Not only is this probably the most soulful, lyrically moving, inspiring piece of work I've heard in awhile, HE'S FROM THE WEST COAST!! I support REAL music! This is simply too dope....

M.A.R.S.

Bird Uncaged (Unfinished)

My bird is uncaged,

Its majestic wings flap vibrantly in the skies

And yet, despite its struggles to separate itself from the flock

It is still unseen by your eyes.

What else must it do to catch the attention of the ones it longs for?

Love Affairs: Cupid Stabs

A hug from you always made me feel complete

How could I ever deny such a smile so sweet?

That day you left me standing alone, the water ran deep

Down my cheek, until they turned into pools of sorrow

Now I’m a one man army without a shoulder to borrow

But I’ll shoulder the burden of what let us to break up

A vivid memory of tears, brusing and smearing your make-up

A chilly gust of wind, puts an end to something real

So cold, the feeling of solitude without you

An unbreakable bond? Between us, it was never strong

I still remember the red dress you wore when we shared our last meal

Rain drops pound a head of waves, while lightning flashes behind streaks of blonde

For our souls to be free, they had to escape one another

But even in freedom, we are bonded as first lovers.