Impossible made possible

So for a while I always thought the concept of love really wasn't possible I always thought this just because what I thought was love really wasn't. I wasn't willing to go out of my way for another person (due to immaturity mostly) and I didn't feel a connection like I thought I was. Being in college and having my mind open up to a lot of things made me come to conclusion. BUT, being in college always made me notice things that I like and dislike too. For example, 2 years ago, ladies that I would find attractive, meaning I would have thoughts about talking to them, aren't necessarily attractive now. They still look the same, and have the same personalities and mannerisms and what not, but I'm just more aware of my tastes.

Until a week ago, I didn't think connecting to a person on a llevel to where the word "love" can be used with true feeling was possible. Now I can't necessarily say that I'm deep enough in a connection to say that I can use the L word, but if I keep going down the road I am, I'll definitely see a sign that reads "Love: next 5 exits" or something. What I felt last week was enough to convince me that connections between human beings really exists. All the things like "Looking like a 'cimp' or being afraid to express your feelings and whatnot" honestly didn't matter....If you felt what I felt you'd know what I was talking about...Guess only thing left to do is to take the next step and get this off my chest. word "love" can be used with true feeling was possible. Now I can't necessarily say that I'm deep enough in a connection to say that I can use the L word, but if I keep going down the road I am, I'll definitely see a sign that reads "Love: next 5 exits" or something. What I felt last week was enough to convince me that connections between human beings really exists. All the things like "Looking like a 'cimp'or being afraid to express your feelings and whatnot" honestly didn't matter....If you felt what I felt you'd know what I was talking about...Guess only thing left to do is to take the next step and get this off my chest. 

A little pressure...no biggie though

For the first time ever, I think I'm actually going to have to stay at it in school if I'm going to pass my classes this semester. I've been able to B.S. (SFC) my way into getting by with As or Bs or Cs...but these upper division classes are gonna need some work...don't get me wrong...this stuff is still easy to me, just tedious reading and what not. Gonna be tired a lot until Decemember it seems.....still isn't an excuse to me though! Fatigue is as much mental as it is physical in my opinion. Just gotta push through all of it. Time to get my grown man on! (I'm only 5'5" :'( .....)

Take control of your life!

Feelin good right now...

Don't know why, but I'm in a really good mood right now better than I've been in AWHILE! ....Life is too fragile and short to waste it feelin down....GO DO SOMETHING! Take control of your life before others decide to control it for you...don't waste your entire life working at a job where you get paid on a wage system....that's a waste of your time... you and a BUNCH of other people doin a lot of work while some dude (or dudette) owns the company and is making 15 times as money as you if not more...not to mention a greater percentage of YO money is taking care of the necessities in life like food/shelter/etc...while said person is buyin another yacht....I aint hatin...I'm just sayin...don't be a peon!

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!

G.O.O.D. Music!

Take the Radio back!

Censorship on the radio should be done away with in my opinion. 

First reason: Basically the ones who have the ability to control censorship, have the control over what is being said and what isn't. With all due respect, that's bullshit (SFC)......One private entity, which isn't controlled by the governement on paper, but is still a government sponsored agency, has TOTAL control over the entire nation's morality views? I saw morality views because censorship is suppose to block out things like curse words, sexual and drug references or whatever else THEY think shouldn't be said. But I don't understand how a group of people's belief's should be bestowed onto an entire nation of peoples who believe different things....

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS!?!
Please don't bring kids into this discussion...It's kinda obvious that songs about sex/drugs/violence aren't targeted towards kids in the first place...Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there shouldn't be sex all over the radio in the afternoon, but of course radio channels play certain types of music. Certain stations play ONLY popular music in "heavy" rotation (Power 106)  , some play punk rock, some hip-hop, etc etc....So it's not like one doesn't know what's going to be on the radio....and if something does come up on the radio that you don't like...you could either...turn the radio off...turn to a different channel, or turn it down?....AND, sooner or later kids are going to find about subjects that are taboo at home when they start socializing with other kids. What PARENTS SHOULD do is educate their kids about things (When they find the time to be appropriate)  so when their kids are on their own, they can make better decisions...(I can't believe he suggested parents actually be parents!) 


SAVE THE ART!


Music is of course an art form...(though some forms of it are valued higher than others) If you censor the music, you are taking away the PURPOSE of the song/piece. Which is a violation of freedom of speech...but...since the FCC isn't apart of the government (Though they are basically endorsed by the government, which is how the government gets around violating your rights!), they have the ability to control what people hear...I don't agree with everything people say, but they definitely have the right to say it...(even if they don't have talent or passion for music)




Take control of your life! 

College as of now

If I were writing this last year, I would mostly talk about how college is unfulfilling....Honestly felt like I was wasting my time in college and things weren't getting done....I was just going through motions it seemed....LATELY however shit's (Sorry For Cursing (SFC)) been goin way different. Finally declared a major (history) this past summer and I'm taking some core classes this semester. It's much more reading I have to do, but I'm starting to believe that college was wack at first because it was a little too easy...now all the reading I'm doing is not only interesting, but keeping me busy. (Though I still slack off like I'm doing now as I type this and this and this)....APAC (the Alliance for the Preservation of African Consciousness) is dope this year because I have a key role in it. And I'm slowly becoming motivated to do this music thing finally. I've yet to actually sit down and write something.....but it's coming soon....my mind is going places I couldn't foretell when I graduated high school and I'm starting to notice shit (SFC) about the world that I can't believe people allow....Don't know what it is but somethin' is going to happen soon....stay tuned!

I wish I could slap Cupid.

     The first scene took place took place when she first walked in class.  Now she was cute from a distant like most girls are, but when she began to speak I knew in that instant that I had to get next to her.  It was the first time in awhile one of Cupid’s arrows struck me. I can usually dodge his bad aim, but dude was on point that day. I wasn’t in love but I was definitely past like.  We didn’t engage in a full conversation for weeks. It was then that we showed up to class at the same time, only to discover it was cancelled.  Small talk began to grow to a medium size and before we knew it we were talking as we walked across campus. She could’ve talked about anything, even something like microbiology or advanced calculus and I would’ve listened all day! From then on, we started talking on a regular basis throughout the semester. The cowardice in me prevented me from letting her know that I noticed her. Not notice like someone notices a rose from a concrete. But she was like a daisy that grew from rubble that belonged to a building that was pummeled by a wrecking ball because of a scheduled demolition. That daisy was the center of my existence for the next couple of months. Until eventually the semester ended.  The scene ended as well because I didn’t have the balls to ask for her number…

     Scene two only happened because of a random chance. I didn’t see her until a year later. In the library our paths crossed like the sun eclipsing the moon.  I was the moon. Everything that I was thinking suddenly stopped, and my thoughts began to revolve around her. Facebook saved my life. She found me there a few days later. We exchanged long messages until one day they suddenly stopped. I didn’t see nor hear from her for a while. And when I did hear about her, it was on facebook.  I saw her name with the word relationship following.  Only, I didn’t have a similar status.  Every part of my body was suddenly hit with gravity. For a brief moment nothing went on in my mind.  I’ve tried to think of “nothing” before, but trying to think about nothing only results in something replacing nothing. But this time I couldn’t fathom what I saw.  Pissed off at myself, I logged out and felt the end of all things to come had arrived…

     Scene three must have been an act of fate. First day in class, I arrive early to catch up on sleep. When I raised my head to check the time, she sat next to me unpacking her things.  Every emotion possible ran through my body within two seconds. I went from mad, to sad, to happy, to jealousy, to depression, to glee, to frustration. Eventually I managed to say hello and it was as if we were in Scene one all over again.  Only this time, inescapable friend zone I found myself in had no windows to look out of.  Only occasionally, she would open the bolted door to say hello and we would engage in conversations as if I was only allowed certain visiting hours.

     Intermission. I sit now wondering if there will be another scene where I can play the role of some hero attempting to save some damsel in distress who will eventually co-exist with my entity and we will share a future to where in our wedding vows, I will say something corny like “You had me at hello.”